Being a parent has always been lovingly strange and wonder-full for me. I started very young, very unprepared, very torn apart. But it has always been a source of healing and maturing for me. I grew up with very broken parents, broken but beautiful. They wanted me to have the Magic I thirsted for, but they also had no clue how to make that happen. Their pain and trauma from their own lives bled into my own, ancestral curses passed down like epigenetic shadow work. I often found myself picking up their habits and their mistakes, cleaning up after their emotional mess, being left alone at a young age to handle life. I don’t hate them for it, and of course they still need to take their part in being responsible for it, but I understand sometimes these are the way of things. Sometimes pain takes it own path forward at the expense of the helpless, and the helpless grow into it and learn by it. And a day comes when they have a choice to take responsibility for the pain that was brought to them unfairly and unasked for. And if they take responsibility for this pain, they are granted a power over it so that they may heal and reclaim a piece of their ancestral soul. They can end the cycles of ancestral violence so that their children need not experience it.

As a parent my whole approach is to learn from this pain and to learn from my children, so that I can be good enough to make them better than me. I can say with assurance that they have all exceeded my wildest expectations.

They come to me
Eyes shining with faerie delight
Mischief contained for this wise plea
To tell me what makes goodness in our hearts abound

Me, a hesitant mess
They hone in on my twilight distress
And in their voice they assure me
That they know a fact alluding our ancient boundaries

“You know dad”
They say in every way right
“Sometimes monsters and heroes, 
Need to team up to save the world too.”

A hand on my hand
An eye on my sight
Those god damned geniuses
Those gremlins of the night

They’ve done it again, beyond mad they defend
The honor of shadows that fill us with fright
My imagination fills with cosmic understanding
As they eat their boogers in solemnity

 

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